Any Old Actress

ever hurt so badly you didn’t feel? no dull aches or sharp pangs or alleviation or worsening. not that you quit feeling or grew numb, for that implies a cessation of pain, and apprehendable pain is insufficient for this hurt. pain is a paltry attempt at this intense absence beyond expression. ever lose so much that you found a vacuum in its place? and you can’t weep for it because it’s so gone it’s as if it never were. and it’s pointless to lament because the effort of words and tears are lost in that void. so very hurt and so utterly empty that it’s beyond sensation or loss. it’s as if you never felt, or ever had, and for the first time discover nothing.