I’ve complained about pants before, right? How all the jeans they make right now are designed for skinny plumbers (i.e. maximum crackage on girls w/out hips), or they’re super high-waisted and emphasising pudgy stomach in all the wrong ways. Or, by the time you find jeans to fit through the hips (which you know, as a girl you actually have them), they’re all gappy and drafty through the waist? Yeah. Those pants.
So I think it was last February I finally found a pair that were pretty cute, from Bass, fit through the hips and just barely too big at the waist. I got my mom to put some darts in the waist, I studded some grommets through the hems and 6 months later I’ve barely even worn them. Instead, I’ve worn my cross-hatch Hydraulic jeans (with the heavy-duty snaps on the hems, which I absolutely love) until the knees are ripped out, gutted like laceless sneakers. And this is all because the Hydraulic jeans are lower waisted.
Now there’s a difference between low-waisted and crackage. These jeans they’re selling now for Urban Plumberettes don’t even aspire to have waist bands; they’re not even in the “low” arena. They’re barely even pants, and much more like… Chaps. Or Denim Legs TM. 
There are a lot of jean-surgery tutorials, namely this one at Get Crafty, but that method seemed like entirely too much work for me (who macramés, crochets, and cross stitches but fails to work a sewing machine). So I got busy with a seam ripper and removed all the tags and belt loops from the top. And then right above the waistband seam, I cut the whole thing off. Top button and about an 1” worth of material. HUGE difference. I was amazed that a thin strip of material’s absence could so radically change a pair of pants, but these are like… wearable now. Where they were miserable and gross before. Supremely cool. 
I’d kill for a digicam right now, ‘cause once I got the belt loops back on (a little lower, not exactly functional), they were super cute. Instead of a waist band now, the top edge is frayed denim - that deconstructed look that you usually see on dirty jeans (which by the way, ugh! 
).
//Comments!
I cannot stress enough how there is such a thing as TOO low rise. I find nothing appealing or flattering about BUTTAGE. Ugh
Laura M at September 5, 2003 01:21 PM
Buttage!
Hey where do you buy hydraulic jeans and don’t say something like Filenes’s basement or Marshall’s or anything like that like tell me what brand like if it’s Levis or etc.
Lani at October 21, 2003 09:06 PMDude. Hydraulic is the brand name. And I got mine at Urban Planet, a Wet Seal type store here at Opry Mills Mall in Nashville.
Of course, that was 2+ years ago.
Brooke at October 22, 2003 11:21 AMI bought a pair of Hydraulic Jeans in 2000, and they are the most comfortable and great looking jeans I have ever had by far. The only problem is that I can’t find any Hydraulic jeans like them. I find Hydraulic jeans at Maurice’s, but they are nothing like the ones I bought in 2000. I can’t find anything on the web either. Any suggestions?
Erica Aldin at November 12, 2003 12:36 PMi bought a pair of hydraulic jeans last week at charlotte russe, they seem to have a good selection of them…
rachel at December 2, 2004 06:04 PMI bought a pair of hydraulic jeans at the beggining of the school year they are amazing. But when ever I go shopping I never find them. I look on the web and they are so expensive. I’m a kid. I don’t have that much money. I bought these jeans for 10 bucks. Great deal. Need more for next year. They make my butt look awesome! 
So anywhere I can by them cheap.. let me know!!! PLEASE!!!!
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